Six insights into better business negotiations

#1 Don’t make your case

The number 1 misconception about negotiating is that you have to ‘make your case.’ Instead Chris says that negotiation is really; ‘the art of letting the other side have your way.’
To do this you need to find out their motivations. Work out what might be a possibility and get them engaged so they want your deal to happen. If you’ve done it right, they will think it’s their idea.

#2 Use mirroring

Use this technique to make your counterpart feel listened to and to gather the information you need.
A simple but effective mirror is the repetition of one to three words that the other person has said. This is often the last words they have said, however when you’ve had practice you can use any words.
The trick is to use the right tone: it needs to be one of genuine curiosity and an upward inflection - to make it sound like a question. Chris explains that people love to be mirrored, they’ll start to elaborate, they’ll use more words and you’ll gather the tactical information you need.

#3 Label it

Labelling an emotion works in two powerful ways. For a negative emotion, studies show that labelling (or identifying) an emotion actually decreases the activity in the amygdala part of the brain – also known as our ‘fear centre.’
For example: “It feels like you might be hesitant about this option”.
For positive emotions, the opposite is true – labelling helps reinforce the feeling! Try out these useful starter phrases in your next practice negotiation as a way to label effectively:
• It seems like….
• It sounds like…
• It feels like….

#4 Ask ‘how’ and ‘what’ questions

Asking the right questions allows you to create an illusion of control for your counterpart.
Chris shares that while many people believe ‘why’ questions are important, they actually trigger defensiveness. So forget finding out their why! Instead switch to ‘how’ and ‘what’.
‘How’ and ‘what’ open-ended questions will make your counterpart feel in control and in charge.
Try out these examples in your next negotiation:
• How can I improve X?
• What makes it necessary to X?

#5 Master your tone

Did you know your tone of voice is five times more important than the words you say?
You may have the perfect words at the ready, but if your delivery is off then you may destroy the deal.
Chris’s advice is to make ditch the commonly used assertive voice and make your default the ‘smiling voice’. This is about speaking in a relaxed manner, while still delivering the truth. This type of delivery can help trigger your counterparts mirror neurons in a positive way.
The second type of tone to master is what Chris calls his ‘late night FM DJ’ voice. This voice is download inflecting, very calm and much slower. It’s the tone to use when you’re wanting to make an important point, or stress something that you won’t be budging on.

#6 Conduct an accusations audit

Make a list of anything negative your counterpart may be thinking or feeling about the deal.
Sound counterintuitive?
It’s called an accusation audit, and it’s your number one strategy for counteracting arguments.
For your audit, make a list of any possible worries or negativity that the other side may be thinking or feeling – and be brutal!
Once you have your long list, then it’s time to get out in front of the negatives. Rather than try and deny or avoid it, you address them head on, but using your labelling phrases.
For example:
• It probably seems like… we don’t care about you.
• You’re probably thinking… we’re just like any other business out there.
If you address any of their negatives for them, then all that will be left is the benefits of the deal!